The Good Idea Fairy¶
🧚 Satire. "Good Idea Fairy" is long-standing military slang for whoever shows up with a bright idea that becomes everyone else's weekend. No real person is depicted, and any resemblance to your last staff meeting is a coincidence.
| Common name | Good Idea Fairy |
| Scientific name | Nymphula memorandum |
| Field marks | Glitter trail, clipboard, lanyard ID, a wand that sprays memos |
| Call | A bright, sing-song "What if we…" |
| Diet | Your weekend |
| Natural predator | The Common Sense Lizard (only one known) |
| Status | Invasive; population exploding |
Description¶
The Good Idea Fairy is small, sparkly and relentlessly enthusiastic. To her, every idea is her best one yet. She hovers near anyone with authority and whispers into the nearest ear. She never stays around to carry out the idea, because that's somebody else's job.
Behavior¶
- Whispering: "Sir… what if the troops painted the rocks white before the inspection?"
- Swarming: one fairy can turn into a committee within days. The committee then produces more fairies.
- Camouflage: she is rarely seen in the open. Her presence is usually inferred from new tasking with a deadline of yesterday.
- Flight response: she flees the moment the Common Sense Lizard opens one eye.
Field identification: common calls¶
| Call | Translation |
|---|---|
| "What if we…" | You will. |
| "Just a quick tasking." | It is neither quick nor a single tasking. |
| "Let's get ahead of this." | Let's create a new problem to solve the old one. |
| "Form 7-B, in triplicate!" | And Form 7-C to request Form 7-B. |
| "If we ban it for the law-abiding, the criminals will surely follow!" | They will not. |
| "What if the city ran the grocery store?" | See Narrative vs. Reality, entry coming soon. |
Habitat¶
Committees, task forces, commissions, blue-ribbon panels, and any room where the phrase "stakeholder engagement" is spoken. Populations are densest wherever no one has to live with the results of their ideas.
Control¶
There is no known pesticide. The only proven control is a healthy population of Common Sense Lizards, kept alive by an engaged public, small and accountable government, and the occasional calm voice in the room saying:
"Nope."